


Bible Wars

by weeping_wandrian



Category: Bibleman, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Church of the Force, F/F, Fem!Hux, First Order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeping_wandrian/pseuds/weeping_wandrian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyla was once a little girl counseled by the last of the Biblemen. But when her world fell apart around her, she lost faith in the Biblemen and turned to the Devil for salvation. Even so, she struggles to convince herself that she made the right decision to destroy the Church and join the legions of Satan. Bibleman's Church of the Force was never the right place for her - but does she belong at the right hand of Supreme Leader Snoke either?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode I: The Shadow of Doubt Awakens

Kyla Ren closed her fist around the tiny artifact, with the full confidence that the secrets it held would lead her to her ultimate goal. This was the final piece. She replaced her scarlet bladed saber on her belt and started back to the shuttle, signaling her Acme minions to follow. They left the tiny backwater village in ruins, setting a course for the Order's secret base. Once onboard the Satanic Star Destroyer, Kyla returned to her quarters to scheme, summoning an R5 unit to join her. In the privacy of her own quarters, she placed the artifact into the drive of the R5. A map of the galaxy beamed forth from the droid's hologram projector. 

"Help me, Lucifer," she whispered. "You're my only hope.

She scanned the holographic map, her eyes tracing a hyperspace route across the outer rim. Then she froze.

"Hux!" she shouted into the comlink on her desk. "Get in here!"

She began to pace angrily while she waited, her long black robes swishing around her toned calves. At last, the automatic doors whooshed open and the pallid ginger General Hux strolled in.

"You summoned me, Kyla Ren?" she spoke in a deadpan voice. Kyla gestured violently towards the hologram. "Look!" she said. "The Bibleman yet eludes us."

Right where the map to the disappeared Bibleman should have revealed his location in uncharted space, there was an enormous chunk of cartography missing.

"We still lack one piece," Kyla said through gritted teeth.

"I shall alert our spies within the Resistance. Perhaps they will lead us to the information we need," Hux proposed.

"These are not some data tapes we can simply throw Bothan spies at! This is of utmost importance to me - and Supreme Leader."

"I will make sure it is found," the general assured her, adjusting her ill-fitting uniform over her voluminous bust.

"Do not fail me," Kyla warned her, a shadow falling across her face. "Or Snoke."

Hux flinched, then nodded and made to exit the room.

"Wait, Kyla said, placing her hand on Hux's shoulder. The red-haired woman turned to look at her. Kyla leaned in and planted a kiss on Hux's pale lips.

"Sorry about that. I don't mean to be all business, but..."

Hux placed her finger over Kyla's mouth. "It's alright. I understand." 

She gave Kyla a quick peck on the cheek, making her blush, then swiftly exited the chamber.

Kyla stared at the door for a second, then turned to gaze at the sea of hyperspace outside her window. A wave of emotion suddenly rose up inside her, soaking her in hurt, anger, and sadness and bringing tears to her eyes. She reached for her lightsaber and clenched it so hard her fingers turned white. Took a deep breath. Relaxed her fingers. Eyes closed, she knelt by her desk to make a prayer.

"I am conflicted," she whispered, caressing the goat's head bust sitting on her desk. "I chose the path of Lucifer. I have never wavered. Why now must Snoke force me to choose between my passion for love and my passion for victory? I thought the dark side was something else... I thought if I turned from the light... I would find peace. Yet still I suffer. Please, show me the power of Beelzebub. Satan." She finished her prayer and wiped away her tears. By the time she stood up, she had resolved that she would never let herself be tempted by the light side of the Force, recalling her childhood under the tutelage of Bibleman. If there was one lesson of his she would always remember, it would be never to doubt.

"God has a plan for all of us, even you, and even your parents," he would say, even as her family crumbled around her. Bibleman could never understand. He placed all of his faith in the light Force, unwaveringly dedicated to his Book. He could never know the things she heard whispered while she wandered in the Church of the Force basement - the things that the Shadow whispered in her ear, drawing her to the other side. The side of Satan. When her parents divorced, she knew she could never follow Bibleman.

Kyla closed her eyes, reaching out through the Force. Where was Bibleman? Only by destroying him could she destroy any last vestige of doubt she had in her decision to join the legions of Lucifer. Suddenly, she found herself engulfed in a Force vision. She was surrounded by snow, yet felt a great heat. A voice spoke to her. 

_"Only at the Lake of Fire... will the Reckoning occur."_

Kyla gasped an opened her eyes. The heat faded from her skin. "The Lake of Fire," she whispered. "That is where I will destroy Bibleman."


	2. Episode II: The Phantom Bibleman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyla continues the search for Bibleman - but at what cost?

"Ugh!" Kyla screamed, frustrated. "Where is it?"

She swung her red lightsaber through the hologram, scattering blue lights across the meeting table. The little pinpoints of light danced across the empty conference room and over Hux's emotionless face. The general had stood in the corner waiting while Kyla searched the star maps for any sign of Bibleman. She had been for several hours.

"The Force told me that the last Bibleman would be destroyed at the Lake of Fire! But my vision showed me ice and snow. Whatever we are looking for is a land of fire and ice..." Kyla thought aloud, sheathing her lightsaber and hanging it on her belt. She sensed Hux's restlessness. "What is it?"

"You said you heard that the 'reckoning' would occur at the Lake of Fire.... Not that Bibleman would be destroyed," Hux offered, uncrossing her arms and stepping in for a closer look at the hologram. She peered at the little blue planets floating above the projector.

"What are you trying to say?" Kyla retorted, a hint of anger in her voice.

"Well... I guess I'm wondering whether you... might get hurt... Is this really worth it to you?" Hux replied, turning to look at Kyla. Her brow was furrowed with concern.

"It isn't your place to question Snoke. Nor is it mine. Besides, I can't afford to be wrong about this. I need it." Kyla swung around, facing away from Hux.

"Would you listen to yourself?" Hux cried. "You left the Church of the Force because you couldn't stand anyone telling you what to do, or who to be. How is this any different?"

Kyla looked into Hux's eyes, flush with anger. "And you? You joined the Order to find your brother and stayed because it was _easy_."

"That's not how it is and you know it."

Kyla opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. It was a cheap jab and she knew it. She waited for Hux to leave, but instead of hearing the _whoosh_ of the automatic door, Hux spoke.

"There." Kyla looked up to see Hux pointing at a little planet in the hologram. Her anger and guilt turned to confusion.

"Capytus? It's a jungle!" Kyla said without thinking. Hux sighed, rightly exasperated.

"Capytus has ice caps over an area of high volcanic activity. That's your lake of fire." Then she walked swiftly to the door, pausing before she left. "We can't keep going like this, Kyla," she said. "It's not working."

Then she walked out.

"Wait - " Kyla said, regret instantly filling her heart. She rushed to the door, but Hux was already gone. "Dammit," she whispered to herself, tears welling up in her eyes. Beside her, the hologram of Capytus flickered.

*****

The jet black shuttle soared through the atmosphere, trailing water vapor behind it. A low, steamy fog hung over the jungle, but as the shuttle traveled north, the deciduous forest faded into barren lava fields. Tiny snowflakes began to fall more and more thickly until at last the shuttle found itself in a blizzard skimming over vast glaciers. The ship finally set down precariously on the edge of a crevasse. A troop of soldiers piled out and moved to flank the vehicle. Then exited Kyla Ren herself, clothed in heavy black robes and wearing a large, ragged hood over her helmet. The clothes might have been better suited to an astro-rock concert, or a fourteen-year-old force-punk kid, but Kyla was unaware of the misfortune of her fashion choices and her snowtroopers were far too indoctrinated to alert their commander to the travesty of an outfit.

The winds atop the glacier were strong, and Kyla and the troopers had to lean into the gusts to stay standing. Hux had teased Kyla about her decision to don a mask years ago, but she was surely glad to be wearing it now. She felt rather smug, and wished she could tell Hux "I told you so", but then she recalled their fight and shed a single tear. Just in time she remembered she was wearing non-water resistant eyeliner and stopped crying.

The helmet itself was modeled after that of one of the most famous - no, notorious - Sithanic lord. He had been a Bibleman, not unlike Kyla herself, disillusioned with the teachings of the Bibleman Covenant. Kyla would not say that she idolized the man, but he was certainly a role model for her. Hux would say that Kyla idolized him.

Kyla walked forward, trudging through the snow to the edge of the crevasse. The snowtroopers started to follow, towing several snowspeeders out of the shuttle. Kyla held up a gloved hand.

"Wait," she said, the voice modifier in her helmet transforming her from a 5 foot 4 woman into a 6 foot 3 man with a breathing apparatus. There was a Force current flowing through the glacier - a strong Light power. She sensed something else, deep beneath the ice. Unsheathing her saber, she hurled herself into the maelstrom of snow in the crevasse. One of the snowtroopers shuffled over to look down.

"Damn," he said. "That's edgy."


	3. Episode III: The Last Slice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is fed up with Kyla's moping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but inspiration suddenly struck me this morning. Have fun.

Hux carried her tray of regulation nutritional allotment to an empty table in the mess hall aboard her Imperial Destroyer. As a high-ranking officer, she was certainly entitled to better than the standard gray, vitamin-rich mush, but she felt no need to squander the First Order's resources just so she could enjoy planetary delicacies. It had been several days since Kyla had returned from the Lake of Fire, but no one had seen her since she stormed straight from the shuttle to her chambers. Hux had attempted to visit once or twice, even tried overriding the door lock codes, but Kyla had Forced them shut, so she had given up. It seemed the Sithanic apprentice simply needed some time to process whatever had transpired within the crevasses of the ice planet.

She wasn't going to get it this time, though. While Kyla's quarters were where she slept, many of her belongings were stored in an unused Stormtrooper locker room. These included various Darth Vader collectibles, a Galactic Senate trading card featuring the face of an ugly senator named Sheev Palpatine, and a handful of priceless relics from the days of the First Rebellion. One of them was a charred, melted helmet that had belonged to Kyla's idol himself. The other, a Sithanic lightsaber many thought destroyed when it was left aboard Death Star II. It was unclear whether it had belonged to the Dark Sithanic Lord himself, his master, or some other hapless Dark Sider with robot legs who happened to leave it on a doomed spaceship. Regardless, Kyla had left it in one of the lockers outside her quarters, which is where Hux found it after finishing her lunch. A faint red glow emanated from the khybur crystal inside, which powered the device.

*****

Kyla anguished on her pallet, writhing in discomfort. Not physical--she was simply so distraught by her failure at the Lake of Fire. She looked at the door, slightly askew after being hacked and then Forced, then rolled over on her side. Out of boredom, she began to examine her fingernails. There was actually a little bit of nail polish left on them, from before she had decided that leather gloves were a better look. She tried to scrape it off, but was interrupted by a sudden, loud buzzing noise, and a spray of sparks from the door. She sat up abruptly.

Through a smoldering crack in the door, she could catch a sliver of Hux's face as she struggled to force the vibrating red lightsaber through the metal.

"What the HELL!" Kyla shouted, furious at the invasion.

"I'm coming in there right now!" Hux yelled back. "You have to stop doing this. It's annoying."

Kyla tried to Force the lightsaber to sheath itself, but no one can use the Force on lasers or anything, so she failed.

"Uhgghhhha!" Kyla released the Force, allowing the doors to open. Hux tripped forward, stabbing the lightsaber into the floor and frightening some Stormtroopers on the deck below. "What do you want?"

"All this moping is unproductive. You haven't even filed a mission report on what transpired on the ice planet," Hux said. "Furthermore, you weren't supposed to even  _do_ a mission there. Snoke doesn't pay us to waste time like this."

"Snoke doesn't pay *me* at all..." Kyla groaned, sitting up in her bed.

"And not only that, yesterday was your birthday," Hux continued. "The stormtroopers had been preparing a celebration for several weeks now, but _s_ _omeone_ couldn't even be bothered to leave her room."

"Celebration??" Kyla exclaimed. "With cake?!"

Hux tossed a mushy baggie onto the bed. Kyla tore into it immediately, then wrinkled her nose. "Hazelnut?"

It was too much. Hux pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing. "Honestly, I don't know why I even do this."

"Do what?" Kyla asked through a mouthful of delicious, nutty frosting. The Stormtrooper that made this must have been kidnapped from a family of bakers. "Bring glory to the Sithanic empire? Destroy a misguided religious order that indoctrinates children?"

"Whatever."

"I know why _I_ do it," Kyla announced, wiping the last smudge of frosting from her cheek. "Because my _parents_ got _divorced_."

Hux frowned at the sarcastic smirk on Kyla's face. "I can't deal with you right now. Let me know when you've finished your mission report."

Stepping through the smoldering, open doorway, which had now been soldered open by the lightsaber, she turned back one more time. "Maybe we should take a break."

Before Kyla could say another word, she had gone, halfway down the hallway by the time Kyla was out of bed, shrieking and swinging her lightsaber. When she had at last calmed down, she surveyed the wreckage of her quarters. Darth Vader's--or Darth Plagueis, or Darth Maul's--lightsaber was still embedded in the floor. The baggie had fallen, spraying frosting across the stolen Nubian rug.

"Thanks for the cake," Kyla told herself sarcastically. Then she walked out the door to look for new, undamaged quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst thing I have ever written.


End file.
